Thursday, 29 May 2014

Personality Profiling

DD1's school is big on character building, inculcating values in teens and encouraging good relationship with parents/family. The school believes this way, is the root of all the students' outlook in academic and life in general. That by seeking to maintain these traits will pave the way for students to improve their mindset and attitude, in short a good work-life balance. The school has been setting up many workshops with many different speakers from all backgrounds and expertise to share their knowledge and for parents to share our experiences so we can learn from one another. I feel blessed to have been a part of this wonderful initiative and definitely a regular. :love:

I'd like to share a wonderful session I've had the honour of being a part of this year and one nice area covered was personality profiling. The speaker shared that each one has an element. One reason why some children find it hard to communicate with their parents/family is due to clash of the elements. So, the first step is to know our element.

I'm gonna share the activity tasked for the parents.

In each line, are four choice words. Out of these four words, indicate :

> a 4 next to the word you can relate to (in situations, in life or something that just spells you)

> a 3, next to the word that next best describes you..

.... and so on. So, the voice numbers are between 1 to 4. In this scale, 1 being the most distant and something totally not you and 4 being something that could totally describe you. If there's a tie or none in those choices, you still hafta indicate one that's closest. To be almost accurate in the profiling parents should ideally not dwell or think ok much of each option, but instead to indicate the numbers as soon as you read all 4 choice words.



Example :

decisive (2)
orderly (1)
considerate (3)
spontaneous (4)

(a) decisive
(b) orderly
(c) considerate
(d) spontaneous


(a) results 
(b) systems
(c) support
(d) inspiration


(a) destination
(b) schedule
(c) journey
(d) dream


(a) blunt
(b) critical
(c) hesitant
(d) easily distracted


(a) bold
(b) accurate
(c) patient
(d) enthusiastic


(a) facts
(b) logic
(c) feelings
(d) possibilities


(a) aggressive 
(b) thorough
(c) caring
(d) sociable


(a) goals
(b) quality
(c) agreement
(d) ideas


(a) competitive
(b) analytical
(c) loyal
(d) optimistic


(a) use it!
(b) check it!
(c) share it!
(d) play with it

Even if you realize that you may not share the same element as your child, know that there are ways of getting round to work WITH the elements, instead of working against them.

Let your child carry out the simple check list too. Do not look at it just yet. Don't judge. DD had fun during her workshop (separate from parents workshop) and we discussed the elements, laughing over some truths to them. The school later organized joint parent-child discussion which was very fruitful for us as well. :love:

After all the list of words have been checked out..

…. tabulate the scores of all the (a)
…. then all the (b)
…. followed by the (c)
…. lastly, calculate the total for the (d)

After doing this list for different people, i realized that at least two elements will see pretty close scores. Next, find out which element you are.

If your scores indicate (a) as your highest…
Then, you have the Earth element.

You are firm, take no nonsense, go all out for success, decision-making even risky ones may come easily for you, set sights on tangible achievement and winning are important to you. You want freedom, always want to know and seek control.

If your total scores indicate (b) as the indicating element..
Your element is Air.

You like clarity and are critical thinkers. Excel in seeing logic, sorts out stuff in orderly process, striving for efficiency and accuracy. You see the need to analyze and rationalize.

If your highest scores point to ( c )..
Then, you own the Water element.

You are considerate, caring and always prepared to listen, you go with what feels right, value everyone's feelings in decision making or when exploring choices to reach a collective solution towards compromise or end point.

If ( d ) scores high in your books..
Then, you have the Fire element.

You are the sunshine to any party, always bright and cheerful, optimistic towards what life has to offer, you seize the day and inspire others towards positivity. You are enthusiastic and interesting. Always game to try something unplanned. Enjoys good company.
Working with your element

In managing this transitory period for children in primary school to secondary school, the workshop we were a part of cited the objectives of increasing self and social awareness through their profiling technique. This may help to improve relationship management through effective communication. Parents and children alike may also emerge in different elements depending on the parenting context. The speaker shared that everyone has all elements in them. For children however, their elements may change as they grow. 

EARTH Element

The people with this element are confident in the manner they present themselves. They like to push towards a firm goal, preferably the biggest and the best. Their decision will also lean towards what was practical at the time it (the decision) was made.

In reference to their focussed nature, they will often question, "Where is ……….?" or "Show me the …………….!" They are determined to take action each day towards achieving those goals. However, the tipping point in the earth element, is that when they are faced with pressure or under a certain stress, they tend to be too demanding and it shows. These will cause feelings of the other party/child to be neglected and the child will find himself feeling really hurt from the bluntness of those demands expected of him or her.

Those with this element should try to appreciate and admire the achievements of their children or of others in general, regardless of leadership or status. With that confidence, those who have this earth element in them can be direct and quick while looking a person in the eye and explain to them what is the issue at hand and allow the other party/child to try to fix it. You can emphasize the challenges ahead and set clear outcomes for them when they require motivation. Leverage on your competitive nature to focus on the task for example by suggesting time limit to complete tasks, to empower the child with more responsibilities and to remember to recognize their little achievements. It is possible to achieve the goal in the end if you are more tactful in the manner you speak or behave, to seem less demanding when you sense the other party or the child needs more time or help. See the need to consider the feelings of others whilst in the pursuit towards the targeted goal.

AIR element

Conscientious thinkers are what makes the air element person. Often relying on their intellect and precision, they keep things organized in planning and prepared to complete the details without compromising on quality for they are often geared towards quality or perfection if they can help it. They excel in seeing the rational behind issues, will listen and plan to ensure accuracy.

They are good at analyzing and identifying perceived dangers and offer ways to avoid them (dangers). Clear about what they need to know and strive towards a strategy for learning, to add value to those around them. But in a nutshell, they often see the need to truly understand, to rationalize and to always see the logic on things.

When in stress however, air element tend to be too particular and critical. This may result in neglecting the big picture altogether. Use your abstract and conceptual knowledge to motivate others to think and analyze instead of must organizing them. When engaging your child, show admiration to their attention to details or accuracy. Give credit where credit is due. Remember / Try to speak calmly, slowly and precisely and use your logical and sequential ability to communicate with others. Clarify the desired outcome and allow others to suggest how to go around things / it or what to do. 

You can keep your conversations structured. Offer detailed guided steps so others may see your logic. Allow others to seek clarity.. to make comparisons in applications to varying situations. Ask for opinions and leverage on their strengths of the analytical mind, to focus attention on alternative solutions to a problem at hand.

Remind yourself to be less critical of others when the objective of a rational solution or quality process seem a challenge. Reassure your child / others of their abilities / skills and acknowledge it. Your affirmation & recognition may just pave the motivation towards the eventual goal, even if it may seem to be impossible in the first place.

WATER Element

If you have the water element in you, you are someone loyal, show steadfast effort, great patience and a desire for harmony to flow. You consider everyone's feelings and explore choices available to find a way to collectively come to a decision or to reach your destination. While you are caring and supportive of yourself and all other relationships, you need acknowledgment, want to be trusted and seek safe environments.

You are often interested in the process and think (too much sometimes!) before acting upon something. You focus affecting your own behavior and reflection and lots of contemplation.

When under stress, people with water element tend to be too sensitive to the point where you neglect objectives. You will be very hesitant and may eventually not garner a compromise to work towards your goal.

To work with a child with the water element, you can generously emphasize their positive contribution and consider their significance. You may share your personal experiences and opinions and work on evoking positive feelings. Be patient with their sharing of their emotions or point of view. Remind them to be less hesitant and be brave. To be confident to make a stand for themselves when the least resisted path cannot be found. Children with water element thrive on relationship and they appreciate positive show of support.

FIRE Element

Individuals with the fire element in them are spontaneous people. They always make things interesting and often an inspiration to those around them. The dare to imagine the possibilities even when things seem impossible. The are enthusiastic and their optimism evokes positive energy.

They are often colourful people and see brightness of the future, always full of new ideas and confident that should any problem arise, there will be solutions. They have a great sense of fun and inspire to live life to full potential. They see a vision in contributing to a future where they can leave legacies that can make positive difference.

When under stress, the fire element can seem casual and distracted. You are interested in outcomes and can act quickly. 

If you are working with a child with the fire element, allow them to envision and imagine new ways of dealing with new experiences and emphasize the possibilities. Tell the child what you want from them but give them space to also offer their ideas and creativity. Excite the child and leverage on their optimistic nature to focus attention with tasks at hand. Empower your child with innovative and creative tasks. Recognize the contributions of a child with this element and to encourage them to make a positive difference. Emphasize on the power of priority with time management and get them to visualize the success they will feel after successfully getting things done.

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