Our couch has given way after a good few years. While it still serves its purpose, (for us to sink our bums) aesthetically, it is deteriorating in condition by the day, especially when my tiger_chubs and lil' dragon_boi are using it as their indoor playground equipment as well. Hubs and I were wondering aloud if we should change to a new couch or just use it to its last breath?
Just today, my lil' dragon_boi used the blue foam mat as a ramp and went sliding down on it going, "Wheeeee!" (all the way down and back again for God knows how many more times!) So, while watching the boys get creative with their self-built indoor playground, I was reminiscing some moments with DD1 on needs and wants.. This girl has trouble saving because she cannot see why it is imperative to have this habit instilled in her. She loves shopping… just too little money and too little time. Hee. Aniwaes, sharing this reminiscence from a just a couple of months back. But, BEWARE! Long post...
DD1 was quite sad that she wasn't able to get a pair of basketball shoes that she needed for CCA. Yes, she eventually chose basketball over all the other CCAs that she tried out for and was invited to join.
Apart from being on a single income household, I believe in delayed gratification to hone values of appreciating needs over wants and the values of hard work, that without it, one cannot just expect success or see rewards (of their efforts) fall on their laps. So I told her, it's a $200 pair of shoes. I don't have $200 now because I don't work. But I can have $200 if I save. We visioned that if she were to save $1 a day, it'd take 200 days to get the shoe. Now that's a long time. But I told her it's possible. Because I saved whatever I get from hubs to get the Montessori materials I've been collecting over the years to teach all of them. Those materials are very expensive. I told her an example of how I'd resist not buying shoes I don't need, even when they were on offer. That's because I have a long term motivation for something else and I want it materialized. I'd do short stints/projects to add up. She knows because she sees when I have work to do. I will eventually have the materials and work with the boys and I'm beyond delirious seeing their love for learning. DD1 said... "But the $ u saved wasn't exactly for yourself? It was for us most of the time.." I replied. "It doesn't matter. My children need it. Shoes, they can wait. There will always be another design. There will always be other offers. Children grow very fast. If I miss the moments, I won't have another."
I offered to co-save with her. If she saved a dollar, I'd save a dollar too. Everything we save will go into the basketball shoe fund. This way she might be able to get it in 3 mths tops. We shook (and hugged) on it.
Over the weeks, she lost the sch tie. Had to replace. Wasted $ on prepaid and suddenly it went to $0 balance. (That's another story for another day.) She's in charge of saving for top-up cards. We do to want her to think that it's a privilege to yak or waste time on unnecessary calls and texts which can be a lot & have us working to pay for it.
To cut story short, the savings saw a $48 because because of all those needs that required more immediate replacing. All this time, she continued working hard at school and enjoy CCA. When hubs saw her last term's results which was a totahe decided HE would co-save with us too. In fact, he'd top up the remaining amount needed to get her the basketball shoe.
Upon DD1's suggestion, hubs brought her to Queensway Shpg Ctr because she heard from frenz that place has cheaper options. The rest of us hit IKEA. Once there, she and hubs went through the few options. She eventually told hubs she didn't need the exact $200 shoe because there were other options that were more value for $. With $48, hubs said his co-save will be rounded off to $50 which meant DD1 would have $100 to work with.
DD1 eventually bought an $80 pair. She said it was within our means and as good as the one she saw and tried on. Besides, if we didn't co-save, she'd never have gotten the shoe within three months with all the obstacles she/we had to fork out for... the tie, the badge, the stationery (she realized correction tapes are a waste of $ ), the wasted top-up card used for Internet, etc)...
She loved her shoes very much. We were happy she did.
Hubs and I both bought top-up cards for her without knowing, to ease up on her saving up for the next one (once value runs low). Hubs and I affirmed with her that good efforts and positive attitude will reap long term rewards in work and in life and that we are proud to see her improvement in all areas... and that we are proud of her little positive changes and little successes. We are only here to share her joy because ultimately, all these little efforts will all add up and be for her own good aniwaes.
Since her Mid-Year-Examinations have ended, I took DD1 on a one on one time for a movie, a quiet meal just the two of us and some light shopping for her. I was rushing our shopping, to ensure I was in time to pick up the vacuum (I sent for servicing) from the retailer before they close for the day. Not only that! Once home I needed to send DD2 for her enrichment lesson too! Just when we were done and hurried towards the escalator that would lead us to the taxi stand, my already worn out shoes tore a strap and the crocodile soles yanked off.
That's when DD1 said, "Mommy, please....... let's just go get your shoe. You need it."